


Boundaries

by Hot_Damn_its_Kam



Series: Hamilton One Shots Literally No One Asked For [4]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Accidental Outing, Coming Out, M/M, Multi, Non-Binary John Laurens, Poly Relationship, We love a self inserting author, but it's all gucci
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:54:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29147766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot_Damn_its_Kam/pseuds/Hot_Damn_its_Kam
Summary: mini-summary: Jacky's been struggling with their identity for a while, unbeknownst to his partners. One day it all comes spilling out, and he doesn't know how they'll react.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson/John Laurens, Thomas Jefferson/John Laurens
Series: Hamilton One Shots Literally No One Asked For [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139402
Kudos: 20





	Boundaries

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm a sucker for nonbinary John Laurens. Um, if you don't agree, don't read this one?
> 
> Also, have a dose of Jamiliams.
> 
> Angsty at first, but some fluff I promise!
> 
> Welcome!

He'd done his research.

He knew how he felt, how he identified.

He'd practiced what he was going to say.

Typed it all out.

Over and over. 

Slow and steady.

Prepared for the worst.

And this, by far, was the worst.

═☆═

John hadn't meant for it to come out this way. It was far too soon. He wasn't ready.

Alex had been on about a piece on gender binaries for The Post, and how he didn't want to write the article because he couldn't relate to the topic enough. Oh the irony.

Thomas had tried reassuring Alex.

"You're an excellent journalist, I'm sure the words will come." he'd said.

"I have a lot of research to do," Alex grumbled, looking to John who was munching on a bag of Salt and Vinegar chips, "Hey my laptop is at best buy getting the hard drive fixed 'er something. Can I use yours John?"

John had agreed, as it was a common occurrence for Alexander's computer to be in the shop given how much he used it.

"Yeah, it's in the study charging."

Alex headed toward the shared office, but took too long to come back.

Typically, Alex preferred writing in the company of others; claimed the energy of other people was helpful to his "writing process". Whatever that meant.

When he did return, he had that tell-tale guilty look.

John raised a brow, but didn't say anything.

Afternoon turned to evening, and Alex had been pretty quiet, typing away, albeit slower that usual.

Lasagna and Salad. Easy dinner. 

Small talk, but Alex continued to stay very quiet.

Uncharacteristically so. 

"Something bothering you, love?" Thomas asked, honey sweet as always.

"Not quite," Alex answered, poking at his lasagna.

"Is the food really that bad?" John griped, feeling that maybe this was his fault.

"No!" Alex countered, "Just lots on my mind, that's all."

John sighed. "Okay, um, well I'm finished. I'm gonna shower."

That was his mistake. Leaving them alone.

When he came back, fresh and clean, he returned with a better mood about him.

"I wanna watch a movie." He said, plopping on the couch next to Thomas, who crowded John's laptop alongside Alexander.

"Proofreading?" John asked, peeping over to the computer screen.

Oh. No.

John's entire body went ice cold. No. Nonononono not yet. 

"That's private!" He choked out, snatching the computer and hitting every 'X' and delete button.

"John, can we talk about th-"

"No! No, you weren't supposed to know yet. I don't even have it all figured out yet-" A lie "Just, just... don't dig through my computer."

Tears. Fuck them. Tears were weakness. Tears meant they had done something wrong.

"John-"

Door. Slammed.

Alone. 

And the tears flowed freely.

Hours passed until Alexander approached the door of the spare room.

"Baby, hey, we're not... upset, but we know you are. we just wanna help."

"You've done enough." The anguish in John's voice tore Alex's heart in two.

"We need to talk about it."

"You weren't supposed to know!"

"I understand, but we can help you feel better about it, just please..."

Slowly, the door creaked open. 

"Thank goodness John I-"

"Wait," He whispered, "Before we... talk about anything, you're not... you don't... hate me do you?"

"Never!" Alex seized him in a tight hug.

Never.

* * *

Sat on the bed, the computer open again. Damn thing couldn't keep a secret.

Thomas pet John's hair.

"Whenever you're ready."

John took a deep breath and launched into an explanation.

"I uh... I guess I'll just come out with it- uh, heh, no pun intended ummm." He bounced his leg, staring at his lap, searched for the words.

"I'm non-binary. I-I think, I uh, I've been doing some research about, you know, identities 'n stuff, and I think that's where I fit. I don't really feel like I fit either um, either binary gender. A-And I was waiting to tell you because-" John voice started to warble with new tears, "Because I know you both a-are cis, and you both are bisexual, and I don't fit into bisexual and I just, I didn't want this to end over something this stupid!"

John felt Thomas squeeze his hand, turned his face toward himself, "John, we would never stop loving you because you figured how you... identify. We love you. You could tell me you killed a man and I would still love you, and I would go as far as to say Alex feels the same way. Okay? Don't cry. We're happy you trusted us with this."

Alex piped up "Even after I invaded your privacy. Johnny, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have even read that. I definitely shouldn't have shown it to Thomas, and I'm so fucking sorry. If I'd known what you'd been struggling with, I would have never-"

A kiss. Short and chaste on Alex's mouth, "It's okay," John whispered, "I'm kind of glad you found this way, honestly. I don't know when I would have gotten the courage."

"We love you, John. We love because of who you are, not because you identify as male. Okay? So, we can talk this over. For real." Thomas whispered, kissing John's hand.

Alex grinned, "Yes! Did you have any names picked out? I don't know if you wanted to change it or-"

"Jacky." ~~John~~ Jacky responded, "He/them pronouns and my name is Jacky,"

"Perfect."

"Our Perfect partner." Alex said, the word foreign but welcome in his mouth.

Jacky smiled, pulled them both in for a hug, "Thank you..."

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Say Hi on Tumblr! @hot-damn-its-kam


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